just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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