I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
