dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
