did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
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