You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
