god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
