Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
