The maid of honor just puked.
I bet he comes in French.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize