Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
In other news, I just burned my penis
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
