You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
