words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
