I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
