This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
