i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
