i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
