In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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