Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
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