physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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