He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
