I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
