I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize