So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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