I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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