Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
