why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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