I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
You can't motorboat a personality
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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