You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
did you just send me my own nude
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize