what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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