Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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