I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
