I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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