How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Please, let me fuck your mom
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
