I love having hate sex.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
