I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
This toilet bowl is my home.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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