is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
