Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
