ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
