its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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