how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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