Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
