I bet he comes in French.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
