2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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