i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
