Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
this is an emotional support booty call
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize
