It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
