Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
there's paper in my vomit.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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