Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
