My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
