In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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