my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
