Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize
