two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Randomize
