not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I think my fart just growled at me.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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