I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
