In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
