thus making me awesome and them whores
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Randomize
