We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
