he wants to bone in the snuggie
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Randomize
