We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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