You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
