I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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