Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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