It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize