I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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