i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
