Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Is it because I queefed?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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