If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
