I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
They took my balls.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
