I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
