It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Randomize
