never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
